Whether your main social network is at work, at the gym, down the pub or on Facebook or Twitter, the people you socialise with determine the person you are.
Research has revealed that we show different personalities at different times. More, the person we are at any one time is determined by the people we are socialising with.
We can all become a better person just by being selective of our social network
With that in mind, it’s important to ask: do the people you socialise with make you a better person or a worse person?
Most probably, every individual you socialise with influences you in both some positive ways and some negative ways. One person might make you angry, yet also passionate. Another might make you feel loved, but sometimes suffocated. And yet another might make you feel supported yet also controlled.
This cycle of positive / negative influence is mutual. Just as others influence you and I, we influence others. Perhaps at times we bring out the best of people; perhaps at times the worst.
How To Control Influence and Become a Better Person
How do we control this process? How do we control the way in which others influence us? Before answer this, let’s quickly recap:
The Process of influence in determining behaviour
1. We influence others
2. Our influence changes their behaviour
3. Their new behaviour influences us
4. Their influence determines behaviour.
Because we ourselves begin this process of influence, we ultimately have control over it. By changing the influence we ourselves give in step 1 we can determine the behaviour we show in step 4.
In other words, we need to control the way we influence other people so they will then influence us in the way we want.
This sounds a little complex but is actually fairly easy. . .
The Easy Way To Become A Better Person By Positively Influencing Others
1. Determine the behaviour you want to end up with:
Simply decide how you want to feel. Do you want to feel motivated? Confident? Spontaneous? Creative? etc.#
2. Determine who in your social network can influence that behaviour
For instance, if you want to feel confident, decide who has the most power to make you feel confident. If you want to feel creative, find the person who makes you feel most creative. etc.
3. Determine what it is that person does to determine your behaviour
You now need to work out what it is the other person does to make you feel the way you want to feel. To continue with the idea of confidence: if you have a Facebook or Twitter friend (for instance) makes you feel confident, determine how he makes you feel confident. To give an example: perhaps he asks you for help with something you’re good at. e.g You happen to be a good cook, so any time your Facebook / Twitter friend asks for advice with food you feel confident.
4. Influence the person to behave in the way that influences you
You now need to get the other person to behave in the way which will influence you to feel the way you want to feel. Wow, that’s a long-winded sentence. To make it simpler, let’s continue with the example of your Facebook / Twitter friend making you feel confident by asking for advice with cooking. Simply ask: how do I need to influence my friend to do that? In this instance you would likely need to: a) be online around dinner, b) make a status update that makes you appear relaxed and c) be on chat.
5. Do it
Finally, the time has come to put it all into action. In our example, if you want to feel confident, make sure you can be online at dinner, when you know your friend will be needing some advice. Drop a status update showing you have time to chat, c) be on chat. This will result in your friend asking for help (which you’ll give, which means they benefit too). Being asked for help makes you feel confident. You can then put your confidence to good use.
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