It;s odd we should need to know how to give a compliment. After all, if you’re saying something nice surely it’s should be enough to just say it. Sadly, so many people give insincere praise these days that it isn’t enough to just be kind, you have to know how to give a compliment.
How to give a compliment — The skill every kid knows and every adult forgets
Kids. Gotta love ‘em. They’re masters of persuasion and they don’t even have to try. “Oh daddy, you’re such a good daddy. I just know you’ll buy that teddy for me.” “Oh, okay then. Anything for my little girl.” See, that’s how to give a compliment (I just knoooow you’ll do something for me because you’re sooooo goood, and good people do stuff for meeeee).
The same is true for top salesmen. Oh boy do they know how to give a compliment. They know how to dish out compliments that will win customers and clients over. It used to be easy. Time way a compliment went a long way. Not so much now. People have grown wise to this once infallible tool of persuasion. Now, you have to know how to compliment.
Eh; there’s a how to everything, isn’t there? I guess it’s no surprise there’s a How to give a compliment. And it’s a how to you need to know because if someone so much as suspects that your compliment is given for self serving reasons, you’re in hot water.
What goes into making a good compliment? Lots. You need timing, sincerity and good delivery. You also need a good read on the person you’re complimenting. You need to know what to compliment on and you need to know how to word it.
- -A compliment from a newcomer means more than a compliment from an old friend.
- -Giving a compliment to an attractive person means less than to an unattractive person.
- -A good bit of self-effacing goes down well with a compliment if the receiver of the compliment considers you to be higher up than them.
How to Give a Compliment Effectively
So, how can we get through this minefield of complementation?
One way is to get someone else to deliver the compliment for you. Compliment by courier, as it were. This is a very good way if you’re not too concerned about the response you get but jst want the receiver to know the compliment is true. For instance, you want your wife to know you consider her the most loving woman you’ve ever met, but you’re worried that she’ll question your motive if you say it to her face. Getting a friend to deliver the compliment will let you bypass the suspicions so your wife knows you mean it.
The above solution isn’t so great when you need to know exactly how the other person feels or when the compliment is private. In dating, for instance, you probably want to compliment your date yourself because a) you want to see her reaction (and any rewards that follow) and b) your compliment could well be private.
How to give a compliment to their face
When you want to compliment someone to their face, props can be particularly effective. For instance, your friend Sam’s work is mentioned in the paper. Cut it out and show him. You see your girlfriend’s art being sold in a store. Take a photo on your phone and send it to her. Actually, speaking of phones, they certainly do make compliments a lot easier. Any time you see something that reminds you of someone you can take a shot of it, send it to them and say “Saw this and thought of you.” Simple.
But what about when you have to give a verbal compliment to a person’s face. Well, in this instance you need some linguistic camouflage. You need to use presuppositions. “Can I get your opinion on my hair? Only, I need the opinion of someone with style.” “Do you have any tips on stock investments? You seem to know a lot about it.”
These are your best bet when making a compliment, but you can also get some great results by:
- Very Little Compliments: little compliments add up. If someone makes you a cup of tea, try saying, “Wow, you’re always thinking of others.” If someone has a good smile just mutter, “Wow, great smile” before continuing the conversation as usual. Little compliments like these are like chocolate buttons. They’re tiny, and they don’t fill you up, but damn do you end up wanting more.
- Be quick: compliment someone the moment they do something good. This makes the compliment seem like a reaction and it will come across more sincere.
- Say it to yourself: If someone thinks you’re saying something to yourself out loud, they’re bound to think you’re being honest. Mutter a compliment every now and again just loud enough for it to be comprehendible but so they think you’re just muttering to yourself. The fact that you’re not making a ig deal of the compliment gives it credibility.
Remember, people won’t take a compliment unless you give it to them gracefully. Use this guide and you’ll find yourself in the hearts of many in no time.