Need to know how to make someone like you? Wondering if and why they do / don’t like you? All the answers can be revealed through body language.
How to Make Someone Like You: Fundamentals
If you need to know how to make someone like you, the best place to start is to ask a simple question: what differentiates a person we like from one we don’t like? The answer lies in mirroring.
When we meet someone, we subconsciously scan them to see if they are moving like we move. We check to see whether they are copying (mirroring) our body language or whether they are resisting it.
This checking procedure occurs beneath the scenes. We are not consciously aware of it. Yet it is incredibly important. We need to know whether someone will copy our body language in order to determine whether they will cooperate with us because cooperation is the key to a positive relationship. Without cooperation, neither we ourselves nor society as a whole would be able to survive. So the key to how to make someone like you lies in establishing this cooperability.
Mirroring is of such importance that people unconsciously mirror each other’s movements, from smiling and nodding to nostril flaring and pupil dilation.
The key to making someone like you lies in mirroring. You can mirror virtually any part of a person’s body language or mannerisms, but below you’ll find a list of the some of the best things to mirror.
One thing to be aware of before going too nuts with mirroring, however, is that a person will not like mirroring if they become consciously aware of it, so be subtle.
How to Make Someone Like You by mirroring
A quick word on using mirroring on members of the opposite sex: Men use expressions less than women (or rather, most do. . . ahem) and are also less sensitive to them. Both sides can help balance this issue out. Women can help the guy out by lowering the rate at which they’re using different expressions (including body gestures, vocal tones and other expressive characteristics) and men can be more expressive (a girl will not find this effeminate unless you go way over the top with it!). By balancing your expressiveness you make sure that a) the guy is capable of mirroring enough of the girl’s gestures and b) the girl has enough to mirror.
How to make someone like you: What to mirror
Whether you’re looking to improve your negotiation skills, are an interviewer for the criminal justice department, a mesothelioma lawyer trying to get your client to open up, or whether you’re just going on a date and looking to find your ideal partner, by mirroring the following nonverbal communications of the other person, you’ll improve the relationship in no time. This is the key to how to make someone like you.
Voice: Pay attention to a person’s vocal quality and the speed at which they are speaking. Try to speak at roughly the same speed as them, and be aware of the types of words they use.
Body Language: You can copy a person’s hand gestures, seating position and other elements, but again, make sure they don’t suspect what you’re doing.
Manner of Speaking: Try to notice if people use “seeing” “hearing” or “feeling” words and match them. For instance, if someone says “I can see your point” then they are a seeing person (for more on these read up on submodalities in NLP). If a person is a seeing person, use seeing words. So, for example, instead of saying “Yeah, I hear ya” say “ I see your point.”
Walking Speed: Pretty obvious one, but try not to walk too far ahead or behind them!
Amount of Silence: Try to notice whether the person you’re speaking to likes moments of silence. Some people (like this writer) truly appreciate the occasional silence as it gives time to reflect on what has been said and also to relax .Others prefer to keep on speakingnon stop. Matching the other person is this regard will nab you bonus points.
Mirroring these movements is the answer to how to make someone like you. So, you now know how to make someone like you. Time to go make it happen!
Next: Overcome Shyness with Body Language