How to Stop Being Shy by Understanding Body Language Let me begin by revealing one mistake I myself made when I was trying to discover how to stop being shy. I used to make a big mistake when it came to judging myself. Perhaps it’s a mistake you share. The mistake I made was that I used to think some people—popular, charismatic people, to be precise—instinctively knew what to say, and that I did not. I used to believe absolutely in the “gift of the gab;” a gift I did not (in younger years) have. This killed my attempts to discover how to overcome shyness. But then it dawned on me. What if those people who held a crowd and who knew how to be entertaining and good at chatting; what if they didn’t know what to say, but rather we’re just very quick at determining the reaction they were getting, such that if they said the wrong thing, they’d know immediately and change what they were saying, where if they said the right thing, they’d know and could stick to it? This question is what led me to find the true way how to stop being shy. Realising that it was possible to say what I wanted and to adapt based on the reception I was getting, it became possible to speak with the utmost ease and freedom, safe in the knowledge that if I said something wrong, I’d know it before it became an issue. I’m sure you can imagine how beneficial this was to my effort to overcome shyness. Because I no longer needed to worry so much about what I said, I felt significantly more comfortable speaking. And once you’ve read through the following body language tips you’ll share my confidence and will be able to overcome shyness in no time. How to stop being shy by understanding your audience [cleeng_content id=”505946181″ description=”Gain power over your shyness. Learn the science of body language and overcome shyness (1000 words)” price=”0.49″ t=”article”] As someone who lived with crippling shyness in my younger years, I’d like to give a little slice of advice before getting to the hard facts of how to stop being shy. When you read through these body language gestures, consider how you can use these as a “safety net.” By learning these body language gestures and their meanings, you’ll be able to know: when someone is offended; when someone is bored; when someone else wants to speak; when someone likes what you say; when someone agrees and disagrees with you. You’ll know these things even before the other person says anything. This means you’ll have a solid way of controlling conversation, one that will help you to feel confident chatting to people and will help overcome shyness and depression. To me, this is the absolutely best answer to how to stop being shy. So, let’s get to the actual body language facts. Way how to stop being shy by reading body language Body Language for When Someone is Bored or Impatient When someone begins to feel bored they will rest their head on their hand. The more support they give to their head, the more bored they are. In other words, if they’re just propping their head up subtly with a finger, they’re not too bored, but if they’re resting they’re whole head on their hand then you’re sending them to sleep. When someone is impatient, they will begin tapping something, which might be their finger, foot, a pen or anything else. The faster the tapping, the more impatient they are feeling. Why this helps with how to stop being shy: You now know how to tell is your audience is bored or impatient. and importantly, you know when they are NOT bored or impatient, which means that you can be sure they like you talking to them. If you ever do notice them showing boredom signs, you can simply change subject or allow the other person to speak or do something else to change the flow of the conversation and inject new life into it. How to stop being shy by reading the Body language of Evaluation When someone is making a decision or evaluating what you are saying they will make a similar gesture to the head-support gesture of boredom (described above), with two important differences. When evaluating, the listener will have a closed fist with a finger pointing upwards. The hand or finger on the chin indicates evaluation. The lighter the touch the more interested they are. The more they are supporting the head with the hand, the more bored they are. The person may also pull the skin of their eye back if they are having negative thoughts. Preparing to Make a Decision When someone is making a decision, the gesture described above for evaluating will change slightly to include chin stroking. Chin stroking indicates the person is making a decision. Why this helps with how to stop being shy: Knowing when someone is evaluating enables you to either a) give them time to think or b) Say something different to them before they make a decision that will be hard to undo. How to stop being shy by Reading Body Language for “Yes” and “No” When you notice a person holding their chin as described above, they are preparing to make a decision. At these times it can be helpful to know whether they’re going to give you a yes or a no before they actually say it (because once somebody actually says something it’s pretty much set in stone). When someone is going to say yes, they will show an open body (open arms with nothing covering the chest) and will likely lean forwards. But when someone is going to say no, they’ll usually cover their chest defensively (most likely by crossing their arms) and will lean backwards. By combining these basic body language gestures with some of the other gestures we’ve covered in previous articles, you can gain a great insight into what your audience is thinking and feeling. This can greatly help you to feel more confident when talking. Finally, Remember to pay good attention to the body language of other people. They may well be feeling every bit as nervous as you are but simply expressing it in a different way. Be sure to read Submissive Body Language and Weak to Strong Body Language so you’ll know whether the person you want to speak to is nervous themselves as well as getting some good ideas for how to show confidence even if you don’t feel it yet. Reading body language in these ways is how to stop being shy. Good luck! Related Posts Shy Guys And Girls Only Date People With Good Body Language People tend to think that body language is about reading other people. But body language is equally about putting over the right image of yourself. Like it or not, your body language says an awful lot about you. If you’re lucky, your body language will make you look being confident, friendly, happy and other good things. If you’re unlucky, your body language could make you look dishonest, unconfident or even depressed. The best way to get your shy guy or shy girl to talk to you is by earning their trust and making them feel confident around you. How do you do that? By using positive body language. Make use of the following body language tips when talking to Mr or Mrs Shy. It’ll make them love you. Positive Body Language for Mr and Mrs Shy 1: They can tell the difference between a real smile and a fake one Everyone smiles because they know it makes them look happy and friendly, right? Most people, however, show fake smiles. If you want Mr or Mrs Shy to feel happy around them, you’re going to have to show a genuine smile. The only way to do that is to […] Continue Reading Simple Hacks That Make People Think You’re Highly Intelligent One of the questions I’m asked most by my readers is about how to sound intelligent and how to look intelligent. We all want to seem smart. Obvious that. Clever people are generally more highly respected, are often popular because people want to talk to them, get great jobs and generally do well in life. Actually, let me change that. People who seem intelligent do well. Some people who actually are intelligent do very poorly. Why? Because although they have the IQ to rival Einstein they look as though they’re constantly saying “DERP!” It’s not enough to simple be intelligent, we also need to be able to communicate that intelligence. That’s where this guide comes in. How to Sound Intelligent 1) Smart Language: Intelligent people generally are more colourful with their language. They’ll use indirect rather than direct speech. For example, instead of saying, “It’s raining outside,” they might say, “The heavens are pouring.” Instead of saying, “My head aches” they might say, “I’ve a hammering migraine.” They are more playful and more colourful with words. 2) A Hint of Bullshit: Obviously, some people feign intelligence by saying lots of things that sound smart but are actually complete bullshit. It’s generally best […] Continue Reading Talking Behind Your Back: What Your Body Language is Telling Them Your body language has been talking about you behind your back. It’s been telling your people about your mood and your feelings. It’s been saying all sorts of secrets behind your back. Your body language constantly speaks to people. It tells people who you are, how you feel, whether you’re confident, whether you’re shifty… everything. If you’re single, there’s a good chance that it’s because you have bad body language. If the opposite sex never approaches you, it’s probably not because you’re not attractive. It’s probably because your body language is telling them not to approach. Here’s our killer guide to controlling your body language. The Five Top Tips for Good Body Language When Dating 1: Smile: Let’s start with the absolute most basic point: smiling. Ask yourself, how often have you made an effort to talk to someone who is frowning and looking unhappy? Not very often. Conversely, when you see someone smiling you probably start talking to them without even thinking about it. Your smile is one of your most important body language tools. Just by smiling and showing you’re relaxed and happy you’ll appear approachable and get people talking to you, leading to more dates and to […] Continue Reading 20 Signs He Likes You: The Science of Dating, Relationships and Body Language 1: Smiling: Let’s start with the most obvious of body language signs. A smile is always a good thing. We cant help but smile at people we like. But how do you know what the smile really means? Be aware of how frequently he smiles at you. If he smiles at you more than at other people he likes you a lot. 2: Eye Contact When a man looks at you for a prolonged period of time he probably likes you a LOT. He also likes you if he keeps looking at you, then away, then looking back at you. Eye contact is one of the most important body language gestures in dating so pay attention to his eyes. 3: He stares at you When a guy is very much attracted to you he will stare at you even if you are not looking at him. If he only does this once it might not mean much, but if he does it several times then he is really into you. 4: He Hangs Around You When a guy is attracted to you he will find excuses to be near you. Maybe he walks past often, or […] Continue Reading Date Shy Guys and Girls: The Body Language of Shy Guys and Girls This quick guide to shy guy body language and shy girl body language will tel you everything you need to know about dating shy men and shy women. Shy guys and shy girls can be the hardest people to understand. They don’t talk to anyone. They never open up about their feelings. And if you ask them a personal question they’ll run a mile. Trust me, I know, I was insufferably shy for 15 years of my life (“Hi, Paul,” people would say as I quickly ran away from them, lest I might be forced to actually say something. Sigh.) Shy people don’t speak. So the only thing you’ve got to go on is their body language. But even their body language is confusing. The problem is that shy guy body language so closely resembles disinterested body language. Shy guys and girls can seem disinterested even when they’re totally smitten with you. For instance, consider this example: a shy guy looks at a girl he’s attracted to then suddenly looks away. Many women would take this to mean he doesn’t like her, which is what this body language would mean for most guys, with shy people it actually means the opposite: the guy is interested but afraid to show it. So, what are we left with with shy people? No words. Next to no communication. Confusing body language. But don’t worry. Having been a shy person for long, I know how they work, and I’m about to share everything I know with you! People’s Body Language shy-guy-body-languageOkay, so the body language of shy people can be confusing. But let’s not allow that to get our spirits down. Let’s go ahead and look at precisely what we can determine from the o’ so confusing body language of shy people. Gaze: The gaze used in shy guy body language is the opposite of usual body language. A shy guy who is attracted to a girl will look at her often but will also look away anytime he’s spotted. To read shy guy body language by gazes, pay less attention to the actual gaze length (the length of time he / she looks at you in one go) and more attention to the number of times you spot him / her looking at you. In other words, if he’s looking at you often but always looks away anytime you look at him, he almost certainly likes you a lot. Dilated Eyes: This is one body language tell that will stay the same for a shy guy as for other people. A shy guy or shy girl’s eyes will still dilate when they look at someone they like. If his pupils get larger when he looks at you, he’s attracted to you. Smile: A shy guy will smile at someone they like but with a tight smile (their lips are held tightly together). This is caused by the fact that the shy person is happy to see the person they like, but afraid to open their mouth and speak. This can make them look as though they’re being secretive, where in fact their shyness is forcing them to keep their feelings secret. He can’t open his mouth because he is afraid to start talking, so he holds hits lips closed tight. People’s Body Language Turned Head Rather than Body: Confident people turn their whole body to face someone they’re attracted to when looking from a distance, but the shy guy / shy-mangirl will only turn their head while their body remains pointing elsewhere. Usually, their body will point to an exit. Think about it like this. His head is saying, “Holy cow, she’s hot,” while his body is saying, “I’m scared let’s get the hell out of here.” Continue Reading Body Language for Writers—How to Write Character Emotions Body language, for writers, should be studied as a science. If you want to know how to write character emotions that are believable then you need to know how people naturally covey emotions. It’s scientifically proven that 93% of all communication is body language. That means that if you want to legitimately communicate your characters, you need to master body language. And yet, so many writers rely on “crutch” body language gestures like nodding and smiling. Using such crutches completely destroys the believability of your characters, making them two dimensional. So, how should writers use body language? The Basics of Body Language for Writers Let’s start by dividing body language into two different sections. The first section I’ll call “Naked Body Language.” These are thing you’re character will do regardless of what they’re wearing or where they are. Examples of “naked body language” include: smiling, nodding, various leg positions, fidgeting and so on. These are gestures that are separate to the environment of the fiction. The second section let’s call “Circumstantial Body Language.” For instance, let’s say that your character is feeling paranoid and they are (just for example) cooking in a kitchen. Feeling paranoid will change the way they […] Continue Reading Body Language for Dating Women | How to Look Confident Women love confident men. That’s great if you’re confident. But what if you’re not? Thankfully, with clever use of body language you can fake confidence. In a moment we’ll look at how to use confident body language for dating women. First, however, a few warnings. Confident Body Language Makes You More Attractive When you begin to use confident body language for dating women, you are going to find women treating you very differently. Women act differently towards confident men. To start off with, if a woman thinks you’re confident she’ll be happy joking with you, maybe at your expense (women don’t mind having a laugh with confident men because they presume a confident man wont take anything personally). Women will also expect you to take the lead. After all, you’re the confident guy, why wouldn’t you? Finally, other men will also treat you differently, probably showing you more respect than usual. Bear all this in mind when you begin to use confident body language: you’re showing people a different YOU, naturally, they’re going to treat the new you differently. Learn to use confident body language for dating women and you’ll get your girl. So, how do you use confident […] Continue Reading The Top Ten Nervous Body Language Signs The Top Ten Nervous Body Language Signs It’s important to be able to spot nervous body language signs for a number of reasons. When dealing with children, for instance, we need to be able to spot any signs of insecurity. It is also important to know when you yourself are showing nervous body language signs you are aware of the weak impression you are giving. Keep a keen eye out for these top ten nervous body language signs. < PREV FEET WITHDRAWN People who are nervous are unwilling to get involved in activities and will show this by withdrawing their feet, perhaps tucking them under a chair. > NEXT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 Continue Reading Body Language Hands in Pockets Discover the secret meaning of hands in pocket body language Continue Reading The Art of Body Language, Explained Learning the secrets of the art of body language will make you a master communicator and negotiator. Get started right here with Body Language Explained. According to body language researcher Albert Mehrabian (professor of psychology at the University of California), 55% of all communication is non-verbal. That’s one giant slice of communication pie. And let’s face it; if you want to get the most out of your communication—be it business communication, social communication, with friends, romantic interests or anyone else— it’s a slice of pie that you can’t afford to turn your nose up at. Thankfully, you’re about to have everything you could ever need to know about body language explained. Before we get to truly looking at the science of body language, let me talk about one of the best examples of body language the world has ever seen: James Bond. Skyfall is going to be released in a few weeks, and millions of people will be rooting for Bond as he takes on Javier Bardem’s bad guy. But what makes James Bond so popular? A huge part of it is his body language. He stands tall, speaks slowly and clearly, has an extremely powerful fixed gaze. .. everything about James Bond’s […] Continue Reading Top Ten Spiritual Dating Sites Nothing in the world is more important than love, and love is never stronger than when it is formed of a spiritual bond. Thankfully, there are many excellent spiritual dating websites in the world that will help you to find your spiritual soulmate. We are proud to present our pick of the top ten spiritual dating websites. Top Ten Spiritual Dating Sites Dharma Match If you’re looking to find someone who shares your spiritual beliefs, then Dharma Match is the perfect place for you. Unlike many other dating websites which focus solely on having lots of members, Dharma Match concentrates on finding the right match for you, based on your personal belief system. Visit Sharma Match at DharmaMatch.com Spiritual Passions Spiritual Passions is a 100% free spiritual dating website and part of the Spiritual Passions Network. On the site you wont just find tons of singles, you’ll also find news on the latest spiritual books, along with videos, forums and blogs. There’s also an excellent chat room where you can find and chat to people. The chat room is moderated and requires membership (the membership is for moderation purposes). Visit Spiritual Passions at SpiritualPassions.com New Age Connections New Age […] Playing with Wedding Ring Body Language: Getting A Divorce? Seeing a husband playing with a wedding ring can be a nerve-wracking thing.There are many body language books out there that will tell you that this is one sign that you’re heading for a divorce. They’ll tell you that when a man plays with his wedding ring he is wanting to escape his vows and to leave the relationship. The vast amount of “Pop” body language books tell you that when a guy plays with his wedding ring he wants to get a divorce. BUT, they only say this create fear so you’ll buy the book. In this guide we’ll tell you how to know what this body language sign means and what to do about it. But to start with, let me ease your mind a little Basics If you truly want to understand what this body language gesture means, you’re going to have to understand the basics of body language. Body language is shown in clusters . A body language gesture only means something when it is supported by other gestures. For instance, a person staring at the ground might just be looking at the ground. But if they’re looking at the ground while frowning and […] Cat Gets Its Teeth Brushed And It’s The Funniest Thing Ever Stunning Mind Bending Artwork Will Have You In Awe “I wanted to create a world between outside and inside and somehow let them meet. I had this idea for quite some time now but it was not until this year that I decided to actually make it come to life. I always try to capture as much as possible in camera, it’s much easier to make it look realistic that way.” Blue Black White Gold, But The Real Question Is… Blue Black White Gold dress? Who gives a f*ck. Real question’s this. what color’s the shark boi? How to have Effective Communication Skills in the Office Violent Communication: How NOT to have effective communication skills Violent communication is the realm of judgments, blame, “right and wrong” and a sense of “You VS Me.” To give an example of violent communication, imagine you’re working in the office when it turns out that the team forgot to send out an extremely important document. Obviously, there is cause for stress and concern. The boss is going to be extremely angry. Whoever is found culpable will be in serious trouble. What often happens in this case is that the team creates a “You VS Me” mentality. Each person in the office blames someone else. Sentences we might hear in this example include: “You knew I was busy doing X so you should have done Y.” “It’s X’s fault. She always does Y.” “I was busy doing X so you should have done it.” Violent communication focuses on words like “I, You, Should, Always and Fault.” There is a sense of You VS Me. In a workplace, this is fatal. Good teamwork requires a sense of oneness. It is important that a team think as a unit, rather than as a group of individuals. Any boss hearing this type of violent communication […] How to Communicate Effectively At Work: Online Communication Skills Course Q. I want to learn how to communicate effectively at work. I always feel I’m slightly on edge at work, as though I’m not the same person in the office as I am outside of it. I know that learning how to communicate effectively at work is one of the keys to getting a promotion and succeeding. How do I do it? A. How to Communicate Effectively at work You’re right in thinking that office communication skills are imperative to success. Managers often favor effectively communication skills over the majority of other skills and traits. Thankfully, there are many tips that can greatly help you to learn how to communicate effectively at work. Let’s take a look at the most important aspects of office communication How to communicate effectively at work 1: Environment Your office will have its own unique environment and atmosphere. Companies like to have their own style. Part of learning to communicate effectively at work is understanding the type of environment your employer is looking to create. If you’re new to your place of work you should begin by gauging how other employees, who have been there longer, communicate. What sort of language do they […] How Smart People Have Successful Relationships 1) The Consummate Art of Shutting the F**k Up Me me me. . . that’s how many people think. Everyone loves to speak, but few people like to listen. And this ends up with everyone being frustrated: because everyone is talking and no one is listening to them. As soon as you actually shut the hell up and listen to people you become one of those rare and special people who actually listen! Listening is by far the easiest way to successful relationships Besides, in a lot of ways you say more when you listen than when you speak. When you listen, you say, “I’m here for you. I care about what you’ve got to say. You can talk to me.” But when you just gas on all day, the only thing you’re really saying is, “I’m self centred and annoying and need to be shut up.” 2) Selfishness. . . ? Aint Nobody Got Time For THAT! We all have our own needs and desires and we all long for those needs and desires to be met. Right? But as soon as you stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about the needs of others, […] Top Ten Spiritual Dating Sites Playing with Wedding Ring Body Language: Getting A Divorce? Cat Gets Its Teeth Brushed And It’s The Funniest Thing Ever Stunning Mind Bending Artwork Will Have You In Awe Blue Black White Gold, But The Real Question Is… How to have Effective Communication Skills in the Office How to Communicate Effectively At Work: Online Communication Skills Course Body Language Course Onlineconfidenceshy Leave a comment Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. Name * Email * Website Comment Comment moderation is enabled. Your comment may take some time to appear. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email.