Shy guys and shy girls can be the hardest people to understand. They don’t talk to anyone. They never open up about their feelings. And if you ask them a personal question they’ll run a mile. Trust me, I know, I was insufferably shy for 15 years of my life (“Hi, Paul,” people would say as I quickly ran away from them, lest I might be forced to actually say something. Sigh.)
Shy people don’t speak. So the only thing you’ve got to go on is their body language. But even their body language is confusing. The problem is that shy guy body language so closely resembles disinterested body language. Shy guys and girls can seem disinterested even when they’re totally smitten with you. For instance, consider this example: a shy guy looks at a girl he’s attracted to then suddenly looks away.
Many women would take this to mean he doesn’t like her, which is what this body language would mean for most guys, with shy people it actually means the opposite: the guy is interested but afraid to show it. So, what are we left with with shy people? No words. Next to no communication. Confusing body language. But don’t worry. Having been a shy person for long, I know how they work, and I’m about to share everything I know with you!
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- Women touch each other a lot more than men do, which perhaps is less than surprising given that female friends are far closer and share far more of themselves emotionally than male friends do.
- Women have much more expressive faces. They smile more, but they also show more anger, sadness, joy, love and all other emotions.
- Women (and particularly business women) often stand with both hands on their hips in what body language specialists call a “ready” position. Though this position can look moody to a guy, women mostly use it to create an image of power that puts them on a level pegging with men when in the boardroom.
- Women show more body language across the board than men. They will use their hands more while talking, show more emotion in their face, touch more, use more variation in voice and so on. They are simply more expressive than the average guy.
- Men don’t touch one another. Women touch each other all the time as they feel very close to one another and are used to expressing emotions, but men generally only touch one another when shaking hands. If you see two guys touching at other times it likely means they are either together or that something very serious has happened (for instance, a guy might hug a friend if his friend has lost a family member).
- Most men are simply not as expressive as women. This isn’t because they don’t want to be or because they think it’s not cool to show emotions, it’s really just a simple evolutionary fact: men have evolved to hide their emotions. That doesn’t mean they don’t feel emotions though, it just means they don’t show them as much as women.
- The above rule doesn’t apply to all men, however. Anyone who’s met me or other artistic types will attest for how expressive we are (having been an actor for many years the expressiveness I show on stage naturally bleeds over into real life and the same is true for others in artistic fields). Still, most men are not expressive, and that means that any time they do show a clear emotion, they’re almost certainly experiencing that emotion very strongly.
- Any time a man does show emotion, he will likely try and cover it up soon after. For instance, one thing a shy guy might do is to flash his eyebrows at a girl he likes, then suddenly look the other way or cover a part of his face with a hand in order to hide his emotions.
- Touch either his mouth, nose or an eye
- Fold his arms over his chest
- Look away
- Tighten his smile (his lips will appear narrower)
- Busy himself with his phone
- Take a sip from his drink (this in done in order to hide his face behind the glass).
- Pretend to be taking something from his pockets (this is in order to hide the hands, which are one of the most expressive parts of the body)
- Taking up space as though he were a gorilla. Confident men will occupy space comfortably, whereas an “alpha male wannabe” will intentionally try and fill as much space as they can, to the point of looking comical.
- He holds his chin up to an unnatural degree. Holding the chin up is a sign of confidence, but holding it too high indicates arrogance, and holding it even higher still simply shows that a man is trying to act like he’s “all that”
- Holds his hands behind his back: This is one of the alpha male body language gestures started by people who actually have no clue about body language. The idea is that holding your hands behind your back is a sign of confidence. Unfortunately, this is wrong. Holding your hands behind your back is actually a sign of arrogance and is pompous. Either way, if a guy is walking around with his hands held behind his back, he’s trying hard to look like he’s above everyone else or, worse, he genuinely believes it. This is also a closed off sigh which suggests the man making it does not which to be approached.
- Sitting or standing with your back to a wall: I’m not even sure how this one got started, but the idea is that standing or sitting with your back to the wall is a sign of being alpha. It’s not. Putting your back to a wall is actually a sign of defensiveness (he’s making sure no one can approach from behind him). A truly confident person doesn’t mind being right in the middle of a room where everyone can see him and where he can be approached from any angle.
Each of us have a unique and beautiful smile, but there are five archetypal types of smile that are regularly seen throughout the world. By understanding these five types of smile, you gain a valuable insight into exactly what someone is thinking and feeling, which can go a long way towards improving your communication skills.
A Guide to the Body Language of Finger Gestures
“I need my space” we say. But just what exactly is our space? Personal space, or proxemics (the distance between two people when they interact) plays an important role in body language and can communicate a great deal.
A kiss is just a kiss, but it can convey an awful lot about you. Here’s what you need to know about kissing body language.
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Disco er the most important signs of female body language in flirting
spooning-cats-hugs-body-languagemore-buttonBecause spooning has us wrapping our arms around a person from behind, it is a very reassuring hug that means “I am here for you, I care about you, I will protect you.” A person who asks to be spooned is probably feeling insecure.
back next-buttonFrom Behind Snug
more-buttonA hug we give when we are in love and when we feel close to someone. This hug makes the receiver almost fall backwards into the other person’s arms, creating a sense of oneness as the receiver rests their weight on the initiator of the hug. This hug shows that the hugger wants to protect the receiver as they are literally covering their back. back next-buttonAround the waste snug-a-lovin
huge-body-language-meaningsvideo-buttonThe body language of this hug says that a person desires you. The intention here is plain and simple: get as physically close as possible. The person initiating this hug wants to be very intimate with the person they are hugging. This hug is made even more intimate if the heads are brought together, in which case the person wants to be closer together in mind as well as in body.
back next-buttonPatting the back
patting-the-back-hugBecause spooning has us wrapping our arms around a person from behind, it is a very reassuring hug that means “I am here for you, I care about you, I will protect you.” A person who asks to be spooned is probably feeling insecure.
back next-buttonMaster Body Language
These are some of the most common hugs. There’s a ton more to discover about hugging, though. If you love to snug and want to learn the body language of snugging, read my complete guide to body language. You’ll discover everything you ever wanted to know about hugging, and more.
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Discover the body language of the mouth in attraction, insecurity, dominance and more
[wpcol_3fifth id="" class="" style=""] Millions of men believe the way how to make a girl notice you is to be super fit, to be Mr Confident “alpha male” or to get a load of money so they can offer the world. There’s just one teensie-weensie problem with this ideas: they’re hard work. If only there were some way how to make a girl notice you that was so easy you could do it with your eyes closed. Well, now there is. How to make a girl notice you by. . . SLEEPING?! Check this out for an amazing way how to make a girl notice you. A Swedish study has proven that getting a little sleep before you hit the town makes you significantly more attractive. The researchers who conducted the study took two photos of twenty five different people. One photo was taken after sleeping seven to eight hours a night; the other taken after only four hours sleep. They then asked 40 people to say which photo they found more attractive. [/wpcol_3fifth] [wpcol_2fifth_end id="" class="" style=""] Article by Paul Harrison: Follow @AroleModel_Paul Related Posts Female Body Language of Attraction Good Body Language for Men Female Body Language Explained [/wpcol_2fifth_end] An overwhelming majority reported that the men how had had less sleep were less attractive. John Axelsson, PhD—associate professor at Stockholm University and lead project researcher—states that less sleep makes a man less attractive and makes others less likely to socialise with him. This is just one example of the myriad ways in which nonverbal communication plays a vital role in courtship and attraction. It’s funny how many people obsess over the hard work of eating right and going to the gym every day when really, your basic appearance—your body language, energy levels etc.—are what really govern your attractiveness. For a quick fix simply use a drop of eye cream. It’ll get rid of the bags under your eyes and leave you looking a million times better. [wpcol_3fifth id="" class="" style=""] The fact that this little detail about the eyes makes such a big difference in attraction really shows the importance of nonverbal communication (in other words, what your body communicates through such points as body language, voice tone and other details). Here’s an idea. If you’re thinking about hitting the gym for an hour, Don’t. Instead, read our 100% free body language course, which is written from a factual and scientific standpoint (in other words, it’s the real deal). You’ll discover a shed-load of vital information you might not know yet. And once you’ve read our guide, join us on Facebook where we’ll continue to reveal the most valuable and powerful insight into relationships, body language [/wpcol_3fifth] [wpcol_2fifth_end id="" class="" style=""] Related Posts Female Body Language of Attraction Good Body Language for Men Female Body Language Explained [/wpcol_2fifth_end] Wow, what a freaking weirdd but also awesome way how to make a girl notice you! Wonder what comes next. . . NEXT
Click these body language pictures for in-depth details of each. Or you can check out the 100% free comprehensive body language guide. Body Language Pictures / Highlights from the Body Language Course Happy Body Language: Learn how to use happy body language to present yourself as a positive and happy person. Learn happy body language here. Lying Body Language: Learn how to spot honesty from dishonesty with our guide to lying body language Angry Body Language: Learn to spot very quickly when people are angry so you can avoid unnecessary confrontations. Learn how in our guide to angry body language Women Flirting Body Language: Want to be able to spot when women are flirting with you? Learn how with our guide to women flirting body language. Male flirting body language: The easy way to spot when a guy is attracted to you is by reading male flirting body language. Confident Women Body Language: Ladies, learn how to look especially confident with our excellent guide to confident body language for women. Confident Male Body Language: Discover all you will ever need to know about how to be a confident guy with our guide to confident male body language. Business Body Language: Discover everything you need to know about body language in the workplace with our guide to business body language. Reading Male Body Language : Learn how to read male body language.
The Top Ten Nervous Body Language Signs It’s important to be able to spot nervous body language signs for a number of reasons. When dealing with children, for instance, we need to be able to spot any signs of insecurity. It is also important to know when you yourself are showing nervous body language signs you are aware of the weak impression you are giving. Keep a keen eye out for these top ten nervous body language signs. < PREV FEET WITHDRAWN People who are nervous are unwilling to get involved in activities and will show this by withdrawing their feet, perhaps tucking them under a chair. > NEXT
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Want to learn to read body language? These five body language books are the absolute best. Desmond Morris: People Watching Here’s the one simple truth many body language books fail to mention: the vast majority of facts and insights presented in modern body language books were originally set to the page by British zoologist and ethologist Desmond Morris, and tough People Watching might not be most entertaining read, it certainly is one of the most important books to ever tackle the subject of body language, as well as being one of the most thorough. Reading People Watching is like observing the human animal through a microscope. Morris dissects the human animal like no other. One can almost see the tweezers with which Morris probes our species. Extract: “The wagged forefinger (left) or the laterally shaken hand (middle) often act in place of the simple Head Shake. These are examples of Substitute Signals, where one part of the body (the forefinger or the hand) replaces the usual organ (the head) involved in sending the signal. In a similar way, the North American Indian sign for ‘yes’ is a dip of the forefinger (right), with this movement substituting for a nod of the bead.” Download the ebook Demond Morris People Watching Or get a physical copy here: PEOPLEWATCHING Barbara and Allan Pease: The Definitive Book of Body Language Some may find Desmond Morris’ work a little overbearing, in which case the work of Barbara and Allan Pease is recommended. This is the book that brought body language into the mainstream, a simple, concise overview of some of the most important body language gestures. Though almost all the information in the book can be found in Desmond Morris’ work, Barabara and Allan Pease do an excellent job of simplifying the interpretation of body language. There is a comprise to be made here: the simplicity The Definitive Book of Body Language offers makes the subject accessible, but it does so at the expense of some important details. This leaves The Definitive Book of Body Language as an enjoyable and informative introduction, if a little too pop and rather too thin on details. Extract from The Definitive Book of Body Language “Salespeople are taught to watch for a customer’s exposed palms when he gives reasons or objections about why he can’t buy a product, because when someone is giving valid reasons, they usually show their palms. When people are being open in explaining their reasons they use their hands and flash their palms whereas someone who isn’t telling the truth is likely to give the same verbal responses but conceal their hands.” Download the ebook Or get a physical copy: The Definitive Book of Body Language Joe Navarro, What Every Body is Saying Joe Navarro is an ex FBI agent who created many of the theories of nonverbal communication used by the FBI to read potential criminals (Navarro goes to great lengths to chronicle his work in the FBI, which some may find entertaining reading, others an unwanted obtrusion to the central theme of the book). Joe Navarro’s What Every Body is Saying manages to separate itself from the pack of body language books by offering clear advice on how to read people. Where most body language books offer diagrams, descriptions and explanations of body language gestures, often in encyclopaedic format, Navarro does away with this approach, choosing instead to recounts stories of how he personally interpreted individual suspects body language, revealing his personal approach to people reading in order to provide the reader with case studies that teach not just the facts, but the how, why and wherefore of people reading. Extract from Joe Navarro’s What Every Body is saying: “Universal nonverbal behaviors constitute one group of body cues: those that are relatively the same for everyone. There is a second type of body cue called an idiosyncratic nonverbal behavior, which is a signal that is relatively unique to a particular individual. In attempting to identify idiosyncratic signals, you’ll want to be on the lookout for behavioral patterns in people you interact with on a regular basis (friends, family, coworkers, persons who provide goods or services to you on a consistent basis). The better you know an individual, or the longer you interact with him or her, the easier it will be to discover this information because you will have a larger database upon which to make your judgments. For example, if you note your teenager scratches his head and bites his lip when he is about to take a test, this may be a reliable idiosyncratic tell that speaks of his nervousness or lack of preparation. No doubt this has become part of his repertoire for dealing with stress, and you will see it again and again because [...]
Women. . . contrary to popular belief, they’re not that confusing. Here are some of the key ways in which female body language is different from male body language.
This last point brings us to a mistake a great many men make with women.
Though a woman will be more likely to show her emotion, she may not be much more emotional than the average guy. Imagine a man and a woman facing each other, the man showing a very subtle smile, the woman a more obvious one. Many people would think the woman to be happier than the man, whereas in actual fact they feel the same way, only where the female’s body language clearly expresses her emotion, the man’s hides his.
Women and their Possessions
A lot of women like to play with their possessions. Here are a few pointers on interpreting female body language with objects.
Tapping on a phone: A woman busying herself with a phone could mean a few things. Obviously, she might have a message. But it’s actually more likely she’s either a) bored or b) nervous.
Slipping her foot in and out of her shoe: A classic sign that a woman is aroused. Women simulate sex by slipping their shoes on and off. And most likely, the person her foot is point to is the one she is interested in.
Carrying her handbag in front: If a woman carries a handbag in front of her body she is creating a barrier between herself and the outside world. She is doing this to subconsciously create protection as she is feeling insecure.
Holding a cigarette to expose the wrist: If a woman is interested in a man she will smoke in a way that clearly exposes her wrists. This is a submissive signal used to attract men.
Leaving handbag near someone: A handbag is a very person thing to a woman. She will only leave it next to a person she either feels close to or is attracted to.
We men are so weird! Why can’t we just say what we mean and show our feelings as clearly as women? Urgghhhh. . . if only there were some body language guy to reveal the important signs of male body language. . . oh. . . wait. . .
Ways in which Male Body language is different to Female Body Language
Male body language when hiding emotions
When a man shows a clear emotion, he might feel silly or weak for doing so and try to cover it up. He will cover it up in the following ways:
“Alpha” Male: How insecure men try to act dominant
A lot of men at the moment seem obsessed with the idea of “alpha males.” They want to act like they’re above other guys. Urgghhhh. . . If you see a guy doing the following things, he’s trying to act alpha as opposed to being himself (which is what he would be if he were genuinely confident)
If you see a man doing the above things, he is trying very hard to be an alpha male. In other words, he doesn’t have the confidence to simply be himself. This is the kind of guy who will be more interested in talking to you in clichéd lines that they’ve read in a book or online than they are in actually being honest and genuine with you.
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I’ve stated a great many times over the years that body language isn’t just about reading other people or about shaping the way in which other people see you. The true power of body language lies in the fact that your body language changes the way you feel. If you stand in a depressed way you will feel depressed. Go ahead and stand with your head faced downward, your arms folded across your chest and slouching over yourself. You will feel weak and depressed. Now try standing with your feet about a foot apart, your head held high (ish), your arms relaxed at your side and your posture good, standing tall. You will feel confident and self assured. Positive Body Language is Essential To Feeling Confident For me, I learned this fact in acting school training in Chekhov’s movement dynamics. Actors knew about the power of body language years ago, and now it seems that body language specialists are cottoning on too. One body language special who is using this power of body language is social psychologist Amy Cuddy. Cuddy holds a PhD in Psychology from PrincetonUniversity and BA in Social Psychology from the University of Colorado. In the video below she discusses the transformative power of body language. Though, honestly, the best way to learn how to use movement to create positive psychological traits is still through Chekhov’s work. Note: you may have noticed I’m a little bitter about the fact that this TED presentation is supposedly GROUND BREAKING even though Chekhov wrote about this power of body language over a hundred years ago, but heck, whatever. . . Amy Cuddy on how to feel confident using body language